The Feels

We’ve conditioned ourselves to avoid the depths, the feels of life. The uncharted territories of being. So many people hardly even know how to feel, are afraid of the consequences of feeling too deeply, and are concerned about those who do. There must be something wrong when you’re deep into your feelings, as if sadness or nostalgia or depth of emotion were created simply to be avoided. We’ve coincided being emotional with being crazy or depressed, out of control. What’s that you’re feeling? There’s a diagnosis for that.

When you start to allow yourself to really feel, though, everything changes. Ev-er-y-thing. That’s a lot of change. Most people avoid that kind of change at all costs. No way José, I’m perfectly fine up here on the surface. Are you though? Or do you just fear what you don’t know? Something realer, deeper, unknown. Above and below the mind. That’s what gets them every time, having to surrender the mind. The mind has bulldozed the feels and taught itself to avoid them entirely. Out of the mind though, man, that’s the PB&J of life. When shit gets real, quickly. That sweet, sweet solitude; beyond comprehension. There is life beyond comprehension, you know, beyond the limitations of the mind. A lot of it, in fact. Entire dimensions of truth and connectivity that can only be accessed by the being, can only be felt.

If you ask me, at some point or another, we’re going to have to reconvene at the understanding that it’s perfectly human, perfectly “normal” to feel, happiness and sadness alike. And furthermore, to demonstrate those emotions, thoughtfully and within reason. If you’re feeling delight, skip! Squeal. I squeal all the time and I think it’s great. And on the contrary, if you’re having an Eeyore day, cry it out! There’s nothing that does the job quite like a good old-fashioned meltdown, FPS-style (Fetal Position Sob). Emotionally, physically, energetically, mentally, spiritually, a cry cleans all the slates. Contrary to what society will have you know, crying is good for you. It’s healthy and on some level, necessary for a person’s overall well-being.

But nope, if you ask us here strong humans, we’ll have none of that cryin’ stuff. If you’re over the age of 11 and still crying, you’re a pansy, especially if you’re a male. Men don’t cry, ya hear? As if expressing emotions and feelings is somehow a weakness. But how? Why? If we all have the inherent capacity to feel, to express emotion, and if it is that very ability that allows you not only to connect deeply with others and the world around you, but to pour that emotionality out onto the canvas of creative expression, to create art, how could that possibly be demonstrating weakness? On quite the contrary, I say, only the strong emote. Only the strong allow themselves to feel and allow space for those feelings to fluctuate. Only the strong permit themselves to “fall apart” by way of a good, old-fashioned sob, and then pick themselves up and go on about their day. Only the strong feel deeply their own pain and the pain of others, true empath-style, and only the strong find themselves brighter and more resilient on the other side of that pain. There is immeasurable strength in being gentle and delicate, empathetic; the finger-painters of the world.

To numb yourself to the feels is a cop-out, an escape, a way of glossing over having to experience life and live too deeply. I mean, God forbid you have to actually feel what you’re feeling and sit with it and learn from it and let it guide and direct you, because feelings are for pussies and whimps. I mean sure, we all have them, but only the strong really know how to ignore them. How to run and hide from them. How to stuff them. How to find the perfect balance between numbing oneself from them and silencing them with unhealthy coping mechanisms. Yeah. Only the strong drink and smoke and self-medicate their feelings away. Pills and poison for the win, right? Hell to the no.

And I’ve gotta say, I can’t help but side-eye this man-made world for teaching us that that’s how it ought to be, too. That women are “crazy” and overly-emotional for feeling and expressing those feelings and carrying the burdens of the world on their shoulders. Heaven forbid you feel one thing today and another tomorrow, or even worse, one thing this morning and another this afternoon, then you’re certified crazy (not to worry, there’s a prescription for that). Or maybe, just maybe, you’re certified in-tune. In touch. Deeply rooted in the world around you so much so that the world’s pain of this morning and joy of this afternoon are both your pain and your joy. That the world’s feelings are your feelings. Which also just happens to be one of the only ways the Universe has of communicating with and through you, in case you missed that memo. Energy in motion, E-motion.

Feelings are the language of the Soul, the language of the All. Open yourself to new ways of being and feeling and experiencing life, and you’ll be amazed at the way that life begins to unfold more organically in your favor. It gets better the deeper you go.

Don’t be scur’d.

With Love, Solé

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